She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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