you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
