these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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