nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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