im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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