Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i love accidental penises.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
