jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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