why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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