party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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