lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
