I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
