the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
