So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
