So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
