Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My balls are so social today.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize