if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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