it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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