The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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