there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
