Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize