Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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