people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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