the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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