Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
