My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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