I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
