I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I need to align my fucking chakras
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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