my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
