I looked at my own cervix.
Farmville is her only friend.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
