wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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