So drunk, too bad you don't want this
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I forget how to act sober
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
