careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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