I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
