Can Purell be used as lube?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
