I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
