The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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