I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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