For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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