i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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