Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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