Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
