It's Friday. Sex?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize