Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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