I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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