So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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