so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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