i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
