i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
