i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
