just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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