Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
