just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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