you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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