after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
