I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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