the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
