if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
