Just fell off a train. Bad.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
