I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
